He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

Alcohol is a very necessary article… It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

We don’t bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don’t dress well and we’ve no manners.

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.